All The Things I Hope You Know

     First off, I LOVE a good graphic tee. Especially when that tee serves as a reminder for me.  I have several I will share with you in due time. Also, I hate selfies. But here I am embracing all the awkward and sharing my selfie and myself (see what I did there 😂😎) with you.  Are you struggling to figure out what it is you should do with your life?  I know I have, and I do often. But I am starting to wonder if I am asking the wrong question.  Do you pray and ask God what it is that you should do? For him to reveal His plan for your life so that you can be the person that He has created you to be? Oh man, this prayer seems to be on repeat for me, God please just reveal your plan for me through this or that situation, over and over again. But what if this very good question is simply the wrong way to approach our desire to become more pleasing to God? What if we flip our mindset and instead of being focused on the outcome of our actions and how they can please God we allow God to ch

I struggle. I struggle knowing how to serve God in this season of life, surrounded by kids and laundry and dirty dishes (so many dirty dishes!). How to be a person that points others to Jesus right now. My circle of influence is small and mostly consists of the people that live within the same 4 walls as I do. Sometimes those walls feel like the borders of my life. How can I love and serve God right here in the midst of it all? I really, really struggled trying to figure out what my "spiritual gifts" are.  Maybe God would call me to be a great speaker and stirrer of emotion that would point numerous people toward Him? Maybe I would be asked to use my organizational and administrative skills to plan and put on great events for Him? I mean, I love words I love that there are so many to choose from, and that they each have a very specific meaning so that we can use all kinds of words to articulate our thoughts and feelings with each other. I love words that feel so good coming o

My kids are getting ready to take the MAP (Missouri Assessment Program).  It is a standardized test that they take in the state of Missouri each year in school from 3rd-12th grades.  Now, do NOT get me started on tying our kids' identities and value of "being smart" to a test score or teaching certain things to our kids simply because they are on the MAP test but I digress. Our local elementary schools have started a tradition that was new to me that I think is amazing.  The schools send home a request that parents write letters of encouragement to the students to read during testing.  Why do I love this SO much? Well, I think it is a great practice for us as parents, and a great example for our kiddos.  I am a little ashamed to admit that I do not spend enough time praising my kids' good behaviors because I expect them.  But on the flipside of that I do definitely point out their undesired behavior almost every time.  And I hate that about myself, I'm working on

 "Be willing to be a beginner every single morning." -Meister Eckhart Why is starting something new so HARD?!?!? (SO HARD!) It is scary, and overwhelming and heaven forbid that I mess up and make a mistake. I do NOT like making mistakes! I do not want to participate in anything that I am not already good at, thank you very much.  It's a flaw.  I know.  It's something I have to recognize about myself and then push through this fear of making mistakes or disappointing someone on a more regular basis than I care to admit.  A couple of years ago for Christmas my stepmom got me an electric smoker. I was equal parts terrified and excited.  Here is why, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that every single person in my family would eat smoked food (insert all the praise hands and heart eyes here because it is a rare occasion where all 6 of us are happy with ONE meal, if you know you KNOW). But I didn't already know how to smoke meat.  Like it's BIG deal. I knew enough

             I have been a typical middle class American housewife for nearly fifteen years. Writing that seems surreal to me, I don't feel like I am mature or old enough to add "housewife of fifteen years" to the resume of my life.  But there it is staring me in the face.  I have hustled and hurried and worked hard for almost fifteen (FIFTEEN!?!?!) years to achieve the "American Dream".  And you know what? I AM EXHAUSTED. I am worn out and used up. Thin. And not like the "Girl you look amazing!" kind of thin, but hollow, unhealthy and just a shell of the person that I hoped I would be.  I had arrived at the dream, the lie that I had believed that if I had the marriage, the house, the car, the kids, the dog and that I was doing all of the right and good things, I would be happy.  But I wasn't.  This hustle and hurry and prove and accumulate style of life I was living was not leaving my heart satisfied, but empty.     Let me break it down just a bit